Are you normal, or other?

The idea of "normality" is just a loosely defined convention acting as a fragile meeting ground of vastly different ways of thinking and perceiving the world.

No one is actually "normal," instead we all overlap sections of it like a giant venn diagram.

The problem comes when, instead of understanding that no two people see the world in the same way, we are told that anyone who does not fully reside inside this construct is an "other".

Dividing the world into Us and Them has always been a way to control people. We all live in fear of being found out that there are aspects to us which would exclude us from the very narrow definition of what it is to be acceptable.

We are all "other".

I'm not a royalist, but...

With the death of Her Maj, I have seen so many of my social media connections somehow feeling the need to comment about her in a favourable way, even though they would normally count themselves as republicans, or anti-monarchy, or anti-hierarchy, or anti-being-ruled-over-by-a-stinkingly-rich-elite.

But now, they say, whatever our feelings about such things, we must put them aside because the nation is in mourning and an old woman has died and her family will be grieving and it is so disrespectful to say otherwise.

But then, why say anything at all?

Fair enough if you don't want to offend, but why join in with the posh-washing?

If one of the Kardashians (or insert any other wealthy celebrity family of choice) died, would it be fitting for me to come out and publicly say that although I disagree with the whole notion of the celebrity worship culture that is almost epitomised by the Kardashians, this is a terrible time for a family who have lost a loved one?

And if so, why am I not publicly expressing my support for the families of the 178,000 other people who die every day across the world?

In the end, the only thing I wrote on Facebook was *cough* virtue-signalling *cough* but didn't hit enter.

I sat staring at it for a full 2 minutes before concluding that all I would be doing is upsetting a few people for a few seconds for my own self satisfaction, and what's the point in that? 

Each person's righteous outburst on FB is toxic to someone else.

So I deleted it before I could change my mind, and it was never posted.

Instead I wrote about the whole thing here on this blog post as a way of getting it off my chest, secure in the knowledge that it's unlikely to be seen by more than 2 or 3 people at most.

Actually, I did also type, "love the monarch, hate the monarchy", on the page of someone who has been known to write "love the sinner, hate the sin" about homosexuality. But I don't think they understood...

Brexit and Democracy

The essential problem with Brexit has come about because we use a version of "democracy" to govern the country.

Democracy is a system that inherently makes big changes as difficult as possible.

As soon as you stick a handful of people together – from any cross section of any society – there will be disagreements.

Disagreements lead to heated discussions, arguments, and eventually a level of compromise that doesn't really satisfy anyone and has usually not moved too far from the original starting point.

In terms of making real changes to people's lives, it's a useless system.

The two major benefits, however, are:
1) it prevents tyrants from getting a strong foothold for any length of time, and
2) while the politicians spend all their time endlessly arguing, the rest of us can get on with our lives in relative peace.

Which, by and large, is what most people want.

The problems really pile up though when real change is needed. The democratic system just isn't designed for it.

There is no solution to Brexit that is not going to horrify and anger at least 20 million people.

Falling into my own trap

I’m visiting Facebook less and less – and to be honest, it’s because I can’t stand the bile and hatred pouring out the screen at me. I’m not talking about racists and homophobes and right-wing extremists – I’m talking about the violent rants against Trump, Brexit, the Conservative Government and the like.

When you scream your venom at these targets, who are you converting to your cause? Who suddenly says, “You know what? I think you’re right! There was me thinking it was OK to allow tenants to burn in preventable fires, for all foreigners to be called terrorists, and for the disabled to be punished for not being like me, but your vitriolic outburst has made me understand the error of my ways!”

I get it – I know you’re frustrated with the world – but spewing your righteous outrage all over Facebook doesn’t create a single convert. You’ve already unfriended everyone who disagrees with you. In fact, if you realise for a moment this is aimed at you, then you’ll probably unfriend me.

Stop telling me how shit the world is. I know it already. Your verbal diarrhoea isn’t calling me to action. It isn’t even calling you to action. Puking your frustration on your friends isn’t making the world a better place – it’s just adding to the horror.

It’s getting to the point where I’m opening my Facebook feed with trepidation.

It feels like where people used to be witty and wry, they are now just cynical and grumpy.

Is this who were are becoming? Bitter and twisted old men and women who just want to shout “bastards!” at the world.

I want to use social media to keep in touch with friends, to remind myself there are good people around, to be inspired to do better things and be a better person. But it seems anything from a third to a half of my feed is packed with the apoplectic spasms of the righteously outraged.

It’s making me ill.

Unfortunately I can’t now put this up on Facebook as this rant has just done the very thing I have accused others of doing...

In response to the response to Brexit

I have friends who voted Leave and friends who voted Remain.

I have friends who voted Yes to Scottish Independence and friends who voted No.

I have friends who voted Labour, Tory, SNP, Liberal, Green and Monster Raving Loony Party.

I have friends who voted Republican and friends who voted Democrat.

I have friends who who couldn't be bothered to vote and friends who don't vote on principle.

I have friends who are Atheists, Agnostics, Monotheists, Pantheists and make-it-up-as-you-go-along-ists.

I have friends who have doctorates and I have friends with learning difficulties.

I have friends who have problems with mental health, physical health and addictions.

I have friends who support Celtic and friends who support Rangers.

I have friends who prefer Canon and friends who prefer Nikon.

All of them are complex people.

All of them mostly try and do the right thing.

All of them make stupid mistakes.

All of them have regrets.

All of them laugh, cry, feel fear, anxiety, love, hate, tenderness, desire and a whole host of other emotions.

As do I.

As do you.

The one thing I have learned from all these amazing, annoying, wonderful, irritating, outrageous and courageous people is we cannot apply one action, one emotion, or one personality trait to anyone and assume it defines anyone.

Racism, sexism, ageism, disablism and any other discrimination is born out of blanket definitions and an inability to see beyond them.

Just because someone voted a different way to us, doesn't mean they did it out of malicious, gleeful spite.

They did it because they believed it to be the right reason under the circumstances and understandings they had at that time.

As did I.

As did you.

The Role of Government

Is the role of government to protect ordinary people against the might of big business, or to protect big business against the might of ordinary people?