Consent and Power Relationships

I took my camera long with me to the Steampunk Weekend in Kirkcudbright.

I wasn't an official photographer, but I have a soft spot for Steampunk and knew there would be lots of people dressed up.

Almost immediately I bumped into someone I knew, dressed up to the hilt, with her friend who had similarly gone all out for it. A bit of a chat and then I suggested I could take their photo, with an idea of sending them a copy later.

But as we moved away from all the stalls towards a tree that created a less busy backdrop, a bloke with a camera was suddenly behind me and was clearly wanting to take advantage of the fact that I had isolated them so he could take some images too.

I gave him a bit of space and just tried to concentrate on taking my own images, but they were clearly torn between the 2 of us, with at least one of them looking at the other guy each time I clicked. Then I noticed a 3rd bloke had turned up.

Not wanting to be rude, but feeling a little deflated, I thanked my friend for her time, and as I headed off noticed even more camera-weilding blokes had arrived on the scene and I wondered how long it would be before she would be able to get back to exploring the event.

From then on, it felt like there were more middle-aged blokes with cameras than there were people dressed in Steampunk outfits.

They were everywhere. It seemed like anyone who had on an outfit was being swarmed upon.

It didn't feel right.

Of course if you dress up outlandishly you can expect to get some attention, but this felt positively intrusive.

And then I caught sight of myself in a mirror hanging on one of the outfit stalls and saw a middle-aged bloke with a big camera over his shoulder, wearing my face.

And, to be honest, I felt a bit sick.

It took me a while to understand my reaction, but eventually I realised it was all about power relationships.

For me, a photo shoot, however brief, is a collaboration between myself and the subject – it is a relationship of equals – a coming together to create something you both would like to see.

But it felt to me that most of these other photographers were feeling, or acting on, some level of entitlement. These people had dressed up so they were entitled to photograph them, whether the subjects were comfortable about it or not. And if they didn't like it, they shouldn't dress that way...

I just didn't want to be associated with these people.

To the outside world, there would be no perceptible difference between me and the other guys. We were all middle-aged blokes with cameras taking photos of people dressed up.

But the attitude behind the photography was everything.

I could only photograph my friend because I knew her already, I've photographed her before, and she was more than happy to play to the camera a bit.

But afterwards, I felt like I'd abandoned her to the jackals and didn't feel particularly proud of myself.

A guy I know who makes Steampunk accessories and had a stall there, said he'd heard that the previous year a photographer from one of the bigger camera clubs in the area had stumbled across the Steampunk Weekend last year, taken a photo of the guy I knew, and then had apparently won a camera club competition with the image.

It seems that word had got around and this year most of that camera club had descended on Kirkcudbright, out to get a competition winning photo, whatever the cost.

I didn't take any more photos, and left early.

The whole experience has just left me with a unpleasant taste in my mouth, and I'm going to be processing this for some time.

Are you normal, or other?

The idea of "normality" is just a loosely defined convention acting as a fragile meeting ground of vastly different ways of thinking and perceiving the world.

No one is actually "normal," instead we all overlap sections of it like a giant venn diagram.

The problem comes when, instead of understanding that no two people see the world in the same way, we are told that anyone who does not fully reside inside this construct is an "other".

Dividing the world into Us and Them has always been a way to control people. We all live in fear of being found out that there are aspects to us which would exclude us from the very narrow definition of what it is to be acceptable.

We are all "other".

Falling into my own trap

I’m visiting Facebook less and less – and to be honest, it’s because I can’t stand the bile and hatred pouring out the screen at me. I’m not talking about racists and homophobes and right-wing extremists – I’m talking about the violent rants against Trump, Brexit, the Conservative Government and the like.

When you scream your venom at these targets, who are you converting to your cause? Who suddenly says, “You know what? I think you’re right! There was me thinking it was OK to allow tenants to burn in preventable fires, for all foreigners to be called terrorists, and for the disabled to be punished for not being like me, but your vitriolic outburst has made me understand the error of my ways!”

I get it – I know you’re frustrated with the world – but spewing your righteous outrage all over Facebook doesn’t create a single convert. You’ve already unfriended everyone who disagrees with you. In fact, if you realise for a moment this is aimed at you, then you’ll probably unfriend me.

Stop telling me how shit the world is. I know it already. Your verbal diarrhoea isn’t calling me to action. It isn’t even calling you to action. Puking your frustration on your friends isn’t making the world a better place – it’s just adding to the horror.

It’s getting to the point where I’m opening my Facebook feed with trepidation.

It feels like where people used to be witty and wry, they are now just cynical and grumpy.

Is this who were are becoming? Bitter and twisted old men and women who just want to shout “bastards!” at the world.

I want to use social media to keep in touch with friends, to remind myself there are good people around, to be inspired to do better things and be a better person. But it seems anything from a third to a half of my feed is packed with the apoplectic spasms of the righteously outraged.

It’s making me ill.

Unfortunately I can’t now put this up on Facebook as this rant has just done the very thing I have accused others of doing...

In response to the response to Brexit

I have friends who voted Leave and friends who voted Remain.

I have friends who voted Yes to Scottish Independence and friends who voted No.

I have friends who voted Labour, Tory, SNP, Liberal, Green and Monster Raving Loony Party.

I have friends who voted Republican and friends who voted Democrat.

I have friends who who couldn't be bothered to vote and friends who don't vote on principle.

I have friends who are Atheists, Agnostics, Monotheists, Pantheists and make-it-up-as-you-go-along-ists.

I have friends who have doctorates and I have friends with learning difficulties.

I have friends who have problems with mental health, physical health and addictions.

I have friends who support Celtic and friends who support Rangers.

I have friends who prefer Canon and friends who prefer Nikon.

All of them are complex people.

All of them mostly try and do the right thing.

All of them make stupid mistakes.

All of them have regrets.

All of them laugh, cry, feel fear, anxiety, love, hate, tenderness, desire and a whole host of other emotions.

As do I.

As do you.

The one thing I have learned from all these amazing, annoying, wonderful, irritating, outrageous and courageous people is we cannot apply one action, one emotion, or one personality trait to anyone and assume it defines anyone.

Racism, sexism, ageism, disablism and any other discrimination is born out of blanket definitions and an inability to see beyond them.

Just because someone voted a different way to us, doesn't mean they did it out of malicious, gleeful spite.

They did it because they believed it to be the right reason under the circumstances and understandings they had at that time.

As did I.

As did you.

Poll...

Would you invite your band members to your wedding?

a) How can you even ask that question? Of course - we're a band!
b) I'd feel obliged to, but I'd hope some of them would be tactful enough to give excuses why they couldn't come.
c) Only the ones I've known for years
d) Only the ones I like
e) I have no say in the matter: my partner is in charge of the guest list
f) How can you even ask that question? No way! Have you seen my band?

The Role of Government

Is the role of government to protect ordinary people against the might of big business, or to protect big business against the might of ordinary people?

Status and validation

People crave status and validation.

Population control

The eco-friendly way of coping with over-population of parasites or any species, is to introduce natural predators to keep them under control: wolves to keep deer populations down, ladybirds for greenfly; lobsters for sea-urchins etc.

Does this mean the best way to keep the human population under control would be to introduce predators?