Wednesday, 22 February 2012

We don't 'get over it'

When someone really close to us dies, part of us shatters into many pieces.

We don't recover or heal, in the sense of ultimately returning to our former selves. Instead we have to build a new self; a slightly different self; a self which can find a way to survive in this life without the loved one.

We don't ever "get over it" - we become someone else - someone for whom the loss is now a part of who we are


V said...

Oh Kim, so painfully true. Phew. I have notebook issues too. Notebooks and diaries. Diaries of the appointment keeping kind, and a handful of teenage ramblings diairies. I can't part with them. The entries of exam times, essay deadlines, work meetings,hopital visits and birthday parties - even without narrative - take me back to moments I had forgotten even exisited. They are part of me and I can't let them go. Enjoy your new chronicle x

Kim Ayres said...

Interestingly, I'm starting to find that some of the genius notes and insights I've been carrying around for years aren's as important as I thought they were.

Now I'm writing them out, I'm having to see whether they are actually worth repeating and many are not.

Some are insights which are now so obvious to me I wonder why I ever thought they were novel. Others have been superceded by new understandings.

This might be a shorter lived run than I thought it would be :)

debra said...

We really don't "get over it", like a cold or the flu, even though people we meet would like us to do so. We change, becoming a person who has lost someone dear, never the same.

Kim Ayres said...

I know. People who are surprised you might still get upset years later have obviously never lost someone close enough - or have switched off their feelings